Right now, I'm sitting down at a table, on a laptop, writing this article. When you read this, though, I probably won't be. I'll probably be sitting down at the same table, on the same laptop, but designing levels for the JZ game.
Ya see, that's what I've been doing a lot lately. Wasting my childhood on conjuring up what little puzzle ideas haven't ever been used before. And believe me, there aren't that many. Which forces me to copy other people's ideas, and then no one wants to play the game, and all that I've done was a waste of time. However, while I sit here, making puzzles to intrigue you for an optimum five or so minutes in total, I'm also performing a range of other amusing yet practical tasks.
Like what? Like... my heart is beating, my stomach is churning, my brain is thinking, and the cat is drowning. What? I don't have a cat. Well, not any more, at least.
I have had an interesting week, followed by another interesting week. Actually, the second week was fairly uninteresting and I won't refer to it anymore. But the week before was abnormal for the reason that it was the week the school sent me on alleged "Work Experience".
Did I get any experience of the world of work? Not at all. Before, I said, "Yay, I'll get a week off school!". And right after it, I said, "Yay, I had a week off school!". And that's what it was. A week of programming and surfing the web on a 100 megabit line. During this time I; i) Fixed the unnoticeable glitch in the shoutbox's javascript code ii) Fixed the glitch making Internet Explorer display the page slightly skewif iii) Wrote the Topsites Script iv) Linked almost everyone I met to LoZ: TFC
So then the week was gone and I had a week of homework... That I didn't do. In fact, I didn't do much at all.
Now I'm faced with more homework. And more level design. And more homework. And I need to learn to play the drums by Thursday, as the drummer of my *cough* band has left. I think this will be a slightly more challenging task than level design, homework, beating my heart, thinking, or drowning cats. Especially since I don't have drum kit, drum sticks, a teacher nor initiative.
Maybe I'll take my mind off everything by making a game solely regarding the H5N1 strain of Bird 'Flu. That would be fun, 'cept that it would be regarded as sick once the death toll starts rolling. Actually, they'll probably find a cure for H5N1, and then everyone dies of H5N2, leaving a pack of wolves to turn into sea creatures and find a widely available renewable energy source within a subnautical volcano in an eastern sector of the pacific ocean, having a spectacularly fluorescent battle with sea monkeys for four 9ths of it followed by an evening of alcohol-free cocktails watching a selection of female dolphins catch the H5N3 strain of Bird 'Flu to leave all life on earth devoured by small protein constructions weighing no more than thirteen attograms each. And thirty-two thousand years later when another life source becomes dominant on earth, the only reminder of the past will be my game humiliating those victims of the H5N1 strain running on this very laptop at this very table where the skeleton of me will be rotting. Of course, the only way to stop this terrible fate is to not make that game at all... But I'll make it anyway!
Live long, and prosper as much as you can before Bird 'Flu comes to a cinema near you.