Some of you may have been wondering about the lack of a new K-team chapter for ~6 months, or more probably you’ve just completely forgotten about its existence in the first place. There have been many, many reasons for me not writing anything new – laziness, school work, computers dying, “real life”. However, a year and a bit after the first chapter was released I’m getting the urge to write again, and I’ve always promised myself that if there’s one project I’ll ever complete it will be this one. I even had the ending all finished before my laptop decided it would be a good idea to spill hot chocolate all over itself. What a nonce. Anyway, I’ll try and get a proper chapter done for tomorrow, although I promise nothing. Especially since my second computer died in a month. I can just tell this is gonna be a bad year for me. You’re probably disappointed about how crap this has been so far, and things aren’t getting any better. Still, here’s a load of random crap
'Cause This Is Filler, Filler Night And No One's Gonna Save You From My Laziness Alright You Know It's Filler, Filler Night You’ll Get A Proper Chapter Sometime Tomorrow Night!
Bill: Hello folks, and welcome to your mid-filler intermission. And tonight Terry, there’s one and only one topic that needs discussion. Terry: You mean the Premier League’s plans to play league games overseas? Bill: No, you mug, I mean the brand new release by games giants Kousou Games: Tetris! Terry: Tetris aint new, it was invented by the Commies back in the eighties. Bill: It’s the first time Kousou games have released a Tetris game though. And dammit, it aint half brilliant. Terry: What’s so special about it? Bill: There’s an online high score table, and music composed by Mitxela. Terry: Mitxela? That’s a silly name! Bill: What, and Terrence Valentine du Pontypont isn’t? Terry: Touché Bill: Kousou Tetris, available now at all good websites!
I’ve ran out of completely and totally random things to say.
And then suddenly... everything went totally silent. Mari finally plucked up the courage to look out of the cave she was hiding in, and almost fainted at the sight before her eyes. the stampede that had just a few seconds threatened to blow her ears off it was so noisy had come to a gruesome halt. Bloody bodies of dead Elephants, Rhinos, Giraffes, Hippos, Albatrosses, and Millipedes littered the once beautiful Welsh hillside. Mari surveyed the scene, and for the second time in the last minute she nearly fainted upon seeing a sight beyond comprehension. Standing on top of a solitary Blue Whale there was an especially large Centipede. But this was no ordinary Centipede.
No, my friends, this was a one legged Centipede. A Monopede, if you will. Mari screamed as the Monopede looked at her with pure evil in his (or hers, it’s very hard to judge a creature’s gender when you’re scared shitless) eyes. She turned and started to run, but today would prove 20 year old Blonde woman’s unlucky day, as she had been married earlier that afternoon and was still wearing her £2000 pound wedding dress. It meant she could only run as fast as a clinically obese man sleepwalking towards his fridge.
Soon enough the terrible beast had caught up with Mari, and using its mangled arm pinned her to the ground. The girl screeched at the monster not to kill her, but the abomination of nature just ignored her pleas, and proceeded to gnaw on her legs, and move upwards eventually, after seven hours of constant gnawing consumed the once beautiful woman.
The one legged Centipede, who was incidentally named Dale, moved away from the site of this massacre, and headed on his journey of mass destruction, no one would be safe, no one could stand in his way. Well, apart from Samuel L. Jackson and Neo from the Matrix. But that’s another story.
And that my fiends was the tale of the Attack of the one legged centipede.